Sarah Palin Joins TV Network for Mentally Challenged

Submitted by a reader in Oregon

Animal Killer Sarah Palin Signs on as a Commentator with Fox ‘News’

Former governor of Alaska and the mother of Bristol Palin has joined the Fox ‘News’ Channel as a commentator, reports said.

Oil and Gas Republican Sarah [‘the Lord is coming soon’] Palin, who unsuccessfully ran for the post of vice-president in the 2008 election, and resigned as Alaska governor in July 2009, is hitting the make-believe news network scene.

[Just before this woman shot me, I was alive and well, looking forward to running around with my kids all day.] A video tribute to Sarah Palin at the Republican convention was titled “Mother, Moose Hunter, Maverick.” The word “murderer” was intentionally removed. Photo: AP. Image may be subject to copyright. Click image to enlarge.

Mrs Palin, said to be incapable of stringing a full sentence together, would start as a freshman on the channel [presumably to comment on the sports news,] Australian- owned Fox ‘News,’ said, refusing to divulge financial details of the 3-year deal.

“I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at Fox News,” Mrs Palin said in a statement posted on the network’s website.

“It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news.”

“[Mrs Palin] captivated everyone on both sides of the political spectrum”. Fox’s executive vice-president for programming, Bill Shine, said, forgetting to mention Alaska’s Russian speaking neighbors.

“We are excited to add her dynamic voice to the Fox News line-up,” he boasted.

In addition to her commentary chores, Palin would occasionally host a program featuring  “inspirational tales involving ordinary Americans.” The Washington Post reported.

Asked how she would qualify  as a commentator despite her legendary public displays of total ignorance on political, geographical, environmental, social and parental issues, Mrs Palin is believed to have cited her previous TV experience when she worked part-time as a sports presenter for the KTUU station in Anchorage, Alaska in the 1980s.

When badgered for an opinion, a senior FOX network executive, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, is believed to have said: “Hey Fux! This is all a load of make-believe crock, what did you expect from Crocodile Dundee network?”

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• Index page for Alaska: Environmental issues, Big Oil, politics, CORRUPTION, Sarah Palin, even the moose, beluga whale and polar bear …

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• Lord, What about their Moose and Polar Bear?
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More Hell-arious Polar Bear News

Farewell Polar Bear!

Obama team OK with Bush polar bear climate rule

[Independent] Polar Bear Mum to Ken Salazar: We know why you and that lawyer in the White House hate our guts.  But, what if we moved to the White House and butt-kicked the lot of you to Alaska?”

“The Obama administration said on Friday it will keep a Bush-era rule that weakens protection for polar bears’ icy habitat and plays down links between the threatened status of the species and climate change.” Reuters reported.

“Seeing the polar bear’s habitat melting and an iconic species threatened is an environmental tragedy of the modern age,” U.S. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said in a telephone briefing.

“The best course of action for protecting the polar bear under the Endangered Species Act is to wisely implement the current rule, not revoke it at this time,” which would cause confusion, Salazar said.

Kenneth Lee “Ken” Salazar 50th United States Secretary of the Interior seen in this undated photo wearing a flag pin to prove something. The wrong person for the wrong job in the wrong administration in the wrong country at a wrong time doing all the wrong things and telling the same lies.

A spokesperson for the Center for Biological Diversity, among other environmental groups questioning the decision, wondered how the Obama team’s argument could possibly be relevant because the Endangered Species Act does not  deal with large-scale threats like extinction, but it was meant to limit the use of the pesticide DDT.

Punching the air with joy, Alaska’s oil and gas Senator Lisa Murkowski said she was overwhelmed with the department’s decision to retain the existing rule, “which provides rational measures for the protection of polar bears within their natural range.”

And if the polar bears’ natural range keeps on shrinking? Hey, look, we are all human, aren’t we? Look at the blaze in Santa Barbara county!

Related Links:

• Hilarious Polar Bear News!
• It’s All About Big Oil, Stupid!
• The Billionaires’ contribution to CO2 pollution
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